Looking back...

Looking back over 2011 makes me realize just how much God has shown himself to me this year.  So many things that have been evident, not just this year, but all along.  I think that my eyes just really began to open this year. 
I am sorry if this post seems a little scattered, I am just feeling so blessed I just don't know where to start.
I think that right now I am just grasping how blessed I am by the amount of wonderful God loving examples God has place in my direct path.  My dad has always been an amazing example of faithfulness, love, forgiveness, and patience.  I am not saying that he is perfect or that any of the people I will talk about here are because they aren't, they have all fallen and they have faults, but they do their best to put God as the center of their lives and to set an example of a life lived to serve Him.  My dad is the one who taught me how to show love, how to compromise, how to sacrifice, how to work hard, and how to be thankful.  He has taught me so much more, but I don't think that I have the words or the time to talk about all of the many things he has given me.  I have watched my dad walk through trials with an amazing faith that has left a lasting effect on my heart.  I have begun to truly learn the power of prayer from my dad. I am forever grateful that God chose him to be my daddy. 
My mom is facing something head on that she thought was bigger then her.  I am sure this has to be one of the hardest fights of her life, but she is going to win because God is giving her the strength and the grace to walk through this fire.  My mom has always been an example of acceptance and unconditional love.  There are times when I want to run away or just push the pause button because my kids are driving me CRAZY, but instead I think of the love that she showed me when I was driving her crazy.  She has been a great example of a mother's love.  I know that I am a better mom everyday because of the examples she sets for me.
My husband is a lot like my dad.  He is very hard working and would sacrifice anything for his family.  He not only works hard to financially support his family, but he works hard to be a good husband and a good father.  He walked into a ready made family and over the years we have added to that family.  Even though I came with two that were not his, you would never know it.  He loves all 4 of OUR kids.  He is my best friend and God could not have blessed me with a better man to walk through this life with.
Those are just the people that are in my everyday life.  My Uncle Bill, cousin Damian, his wife Adrienne, my cousin Cory, my father-in-law Mike, my mother-in-law Merle all teach me things  without even knowing it.  I had the pleasure of seeing my cousin Damian in his element yesterday when he performed our cousin Cory's wedding.  He not only did an amazing job, but he set a great example of a God loving man.  These people are all amazing in their own rights and when I think about them I can draw from their examples of how they live for God and I can begin to do the same.  I am so very grateful for such wonderful people.  If I had the time I would go into detail about each one of them because they are all very special to me.  Although, I think that each one would need their own blog post, lol.
Outside of this last year there are two more examples of God's amazing love that he placed in my life.  These two people I have known since I was a little girl.  One of them has had his wings and has been home with Jesus for a long time, but the memory of his example still remains in my heart and I think about him a lot.  David Smith was a wonderful man whose love for God just radiated.  I think he was an angel who walked the earth.  I can remember him stopping by randomly and he would always say that God told him to stop by and pray for me or that God put it on his heart to come see me and tell me that God loves me.  I know that I am not the only one that David, or that God had David do that for.  Whenever I am praying for a friend or thinking of someone that God has put on my heart I always think about David.  I think about what he would do to serve God's purpose.  That example has made me a little more extroverted with sharing God with my friends and praying for them.  The other person is Pam Beavers.  This woman, oh man, lol.  She has to be the most outgoing, unfearful, faithful, and God loving woman that I have had the pleasure of knowing.  I can remember riding home from church with her on Sunday afternoons and she would just randomly stop the car on the side of the road, get out and walk up to some stranger to ask them if they know Jesus.  She shared God with everybody.  I never saw her hesitate or question whether or not it was "safe" to share, she just did it.  She knew that she had God with her and she wanted everyone else to know that they could too.  Thanks to her example I have been listening a little closer to God when he talks and I have actually gone out of my comfort zone and prayed with a complete stranger. 
God has really given me so many wonderful examples through out my life. My New Years resolution is to continue to draw from these examples and use my life to serve God.  I hope to be an example of God's love for my children.

Happy 8th Birthday Ryan

8 years ago today God blessed me with the sweetest, smartest and most compassionate young man for a son.  Everyday I am blessed in some way by Ryan.  He is definitely my little buddy. 

To celebrate his birthday we had a TKD (Tae Kwon Do) party at the studio where he takes TKD.  It was the MOST amazing party.  Master Bang (pronounced Bong) and Instructor Ryu (pronounced You) are amazing people and are so incredible with the kids.  They played and interacted with the kids for the entire 2 hours.  They played dodge ball, did relay races, and played lots of other games.  Ryan got to cut his cake with a real Samurai Sword and was able to show off his board breaking skills by breaking a couple of boards. 

And of course you can't forget the birthday spankings.  Master Bang started off with hugging Ryan before he gave him his birthday woopins.  Myself, daddy and Nana all got a shot in too. :)

Ryan is obsessed with Super Mario Bros. right now so I made him a Mario cake.  He was very surprised and thrilled with his cake!  Not only was it super cute, but it was super yummy too!!!

The party was unforgettable and will definitely go down in the memory books as one of the best parties!

  

  

To top off the entire 8th birthday experience daddy woke Ryan up this morning super early to surprise him with a trip to Lego Land.  They are on their way now and I know they will have a blast!  Ryan has been wanting to go for quite some time.  I wish I could be there to see his face, but I am glad that daddy is getting to do something special with his boy.

Cooking Class 101

Well we have decided to go back to homeschooling.  YAY!!  I am SO excited!  My how I have missed it.  Yesterday was the 2nd day of school and we had a cooking class.  One of the things I love about homeschooling is being able to incorporate real life situations into our lessons.  I was scheduled to bring dinner to a mops mommy who just had her baby and Skyler's best friend just got home from spending 3 days in the hospital so I also wanted to bless their family with a meal.  So instead of cooking it all myself and trying to cram in school (which is pointless right now since we are so far ahead already) I decided to recruit Ryan and Zayna and use it as a lesson.  Ryan cooked the main part of the meal.  It was a taco casserole.  He did everything, I was so proud of him.  He boiled the noodles, browned and seasoned the meat, opened and drained all the corn, beans and tomatoes and put it all together.  Zayna baked the cupcakes and made the frosting (from scratch) and then frosted them.  All I did was add a few little veggies to the salad.  It was a great day and a great lesson.  Ryan made a tripple batch of the casserole so he was able to not only feed our two friends' families, but ours as well.  They both had so much fun.  Ryan wants to cook us dinner every night now he says. LOL!!  LOVE IT!

12 Years Ago Today...

I was blessed with my second little girl.  I went into labor at 10:30 the night before and went to the hospital around 1:00 a.m.  After being monitored for a couple of hours or so the nurse said that she called my doctor and he said to go ahead and send me home because I still had at least 16 more hours of labor.  I guess she thought she could see into the future, lol.  I pleaded with her to listen to me because this wasn't my first labor and I know how my body is and it's going to take a turn and it will be a quick one.  She still insisted that I go home, so I did.  We got back home around 3:30 a.m. and Skyler's dad went back to bed.  I tried to get comfortable, but I just couldn't.  I got up to go to the bathroom just before 4:00 a.m. and when I came back I told Skyler's dad to get his shoes on because we needed to go back to the hospital, but by the time he had his shoes on it was clear we weren't going anywhere.  I asked him to call 911 and he thought I was joking at first.  Once he realized I wasn't laughing he quickly dialed 911.  Little Ms. Skyler made her arrival at 4:16 a.m.  The paramedics arrived about 15 minutes later and took us to the hospital in an ambulance.  God was definitely watching over us that day. 

Today Skyler is healthy, beautiful, funny and an absolute joy.  To this day she still does things in her own timing.  I love you baby girl.  Happy 12th birthday Sky Pie!!!

Sewing

It's been 2 years now since my good friend Rossie taught me how to sew.  We used to hang out just about every day after our kids finished their school work.  We would sew and they would play.  I miss those days!!  Rossie moved to Montana and is well on her way to becoming famous! :)  She is so intelligent and crafty and the sweetest, God loving example of a mother and wife.  Can you tell I miss her?  LOL!  Anywho, I didn't sew for almost a year because I was so sick when I was pregnant with Emily and then I didn't want to put her down after she was born.  I have been getting back into though and having lots of fun with it.  I have made several dresses and skirts for Emily and a couple of pairs of frilly pants.  The frilly pants are another creation that I learned from Rossie.  When she came back to visit for a bit she showed me some pants with ruffles at the bottom that she had made her girls and they were the CUTEST things ever!!  I have been dying to make some for Em, but my sewing machine broke, I was so bummed.  Then one day Pete's grandmother asked if I would like to have her sewing machine and I was very blessed with a very nice machine.  My husband also bought me a serger which I have yet to take out of the box because it intimidates me.  So I finally sat down and took out Pete's grandmother's machine and went to work on some "frilly pants".  They are so adorable and I can't wait to make more. 

Pants from the Goodwill - $2.50 each

Material - $2 each

 

 

 

It's been a long time...

since I have posted anything.  I have been so busy experiencing the holidays this year that I didn't take time out to document the things that we did as a family and with family.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in just being a part of it all that I forget to step outside of it and take pictures or write memories down. :(  That and we have had two extra house guests for a month now and that has definately thrown me off!  I truly cannot wait to have my home and my family back.  I love our guests, but they are not exactly the examples I would like around for my kids nor are they good for my stress level.  House guest #1 - Pete's cousin Adam.  He lives in Montana because he cannot live here without falling into life destructing drug addictions.  He is actually doing well in Montana.  He came back for Thanksgiving and asked if he could stay until Christmas because the last two year he has spent it alone and didn't want to do that this year.  I completey understand that one!!  So of course we said yes he could stay.  Now I am ready for him to leave!  He is messy, he is an alcoholic and an ignorant, loud  and sloppy one at that.  He showers maybe every 2 to 3 days (YUCK) and he has the mouth of a sailor.  Definately different values and outlooks then my husband and I share!  Then there is house guest #2 - my brother Drew.  He has actually been on his best behavior and has been pretty good around the kids.  He watches his mouth with the occasional slip, but he is putting in his best effort.  He works long hours so he is gone most of the day.  I don't really have any complaints about him being here other than his dog is making my dog miserable and every once in a while he has a day where he is down and out about his life situation right now and he mopes around all day while he drinks.  I think my biggest issue with them both being here is the alcohol.  I don't drink and Pete has the occasional drink.  Now I am not against people have a drink or two whenever they see fit.  However I don't like the excessive drinking or the insinutation of the need to drink.  It drives me nuts!!  Not to mention that they both partake in other extra carricular activities that kind of annoy me too.  Pete's cousin is here for one more week and Drew is here until we can find him a house.  I CAN'T WAIT!!!
I have been using them as examples though for my kids of who they do not want to turn out to be like.  They are the perfect examples of what poor choices and lack of initiative will get you.  I think the biggest tole has been taken on me...on my spirit.  I have been so stressed trying to monitor what my kids are exposed to and trying to keep peace.  I am so tired and I am OVER IT!  That and of course it is playing it's part on taking a tole on my relationship with my husband.  I feel so far away from him.  We have had NO time together in months.  That's a whole other rant, but this situation definately has not helped.  Sigh...pray for me.  I need it right now.  I know this time will pass and things will be back to normal soon I just wish today was soon...

Emily's 1st Birthday

It came WAY too fast.  I cannot believe that my baby is 1 year old.  I am loving every moment of watching her learn and grow, but I am so sad that I can't stop time.  Emily, Princess, you are very smart and you learn things so quickly.  It is truly fun to teach you and watch you learn! 

Emmy's party was a ton of fun!  We had taco soup for lunch and then blueberry and oreo cake for dessert.  She had so much fun running around with everyone, dancing and playing.  She enjoyed opening her gifts with daddy too.

I just want to list some of the newest things you have started doing that I think are stinkin' adorable!!  I love the way you put your hands over your face and say Peek Boo and then take them away really quickly and laugh out loud, I love the way you run around the house and scream really loud just to hear your voice, I love the way you laugh when we laugh just because we are laughing, I love the way you snuggle your stuffed animals and carry them around everywhere with you, I love that you want to give me hugs and pat my back 100 times a day and I love the way you reach up to hold my hand so that we can walk side by side.  You are such a sweet, smart girl and I love you VERY much Peanut!!!  This has been an awesome year with you.

Halloween

This was Emily's first halloween and we all had so much fun with her.  She followed her big sisters and brother to every house.  Walked up to all the doors stuck out her bucket, gave a big smile when they gave her candy, turned around and walked down the sidewalk ready to go to the next house.  She knew what to do and was enjoying doing it.  She didn't want to be held, she wanted to walk by herself.  They scary houses didn't even bother her.  She is something else.  I have to say though that after yet another year of obtaining WAY too much candy that I am NOT going to let my kids eat we as a family have decided it will be our last year of trick or treating, at least for a while.  The kids don't need the candy and they don't even really want it.  Next year we are going to decorate the house all up, go extreme with make up and costumes and create a halloween environment to spook all the trick or treaters and pass out the candy.  The kids are all on board witht he idea for next year and are really excited about it. 

Oh man....

tonight at the dinner table we are talking and watching the baseball game.  Right before they go to commercial they show Alcatraz Prison.  Pete rewinds it and tells the kids look at this to which Ryan replies "Oh that looks haunted".  Pete and looked at each other and laughed.  Then Pete tells them it is Alcatraz and Ryan says "Oh I have seen Alcatraz in a Scooby Doo movie before."  He goes on to tell us all about the movie and how someone lost their right hand from a shark attack in 1986 when he tried to escape.  HOLY COW....REALLY?  The memory and the detail in the memory on this kid is amazing.  He has seen every scooby doo movie ever made!  He has been a fanatic or has he says a "fan of Scooby Doo" since he was 2.  The fact that he can reference them and pull out facts that he remembers from them is so cool!  I love his brain and I love him!!!  He is such an awesome kid.  I have a house full of awesom kids!!!  I am truly blessed!  Thank you Ryan for making me smile tonight!

Uncle Randy

This may or may not flow and make sense.  I am not sure how it will work out.  I haven't even begun to deal with the loss so my feelings are all over the place.  I am just going to write and I may re-write at a later time.  My Uncle Randy went to be with Jesus on Tuesday.  Even as I am typing it my heart still refuses to believe it.  I just know that if I called him he would answer the phone.  He went in for what they thought was going to be a routine surgery, at least that's what I was told, and during surgery he had a heart attack.  He was on life support and in the ICU.  He seemed to improve over the first 24 hours, but that didn't last long.  He had a long list of health problems and I guess in some eyes this was inevitable, but in mine he was indestructible.  Between Saturday and Sunday my Aunt Elaine noticed a change in her husband, how amazing to know someone so well that even when they couldn't communicate to you that something had changed you could see it!  The doctors ran tests and discovered he had a stroke.  That was the straw that broke the camels back I guess.  Tuesday they took his tube out and within minutes he left this world and went to a better, brighter place.  My aunt said that he was peaceful and comfortable when he passed.  I guess if you have to go you can't ask for much more than that.  That's how he died, but I have so many memories of how he lived!  I don't even know if I can describe how special he is to me.  Next to my dad their isn't another man that holds that kind of place in my heart.  He was honery and funny and loud and one of the sweetest men God ever created.  He was full of life and spunk and he was who he was!!  Everybody who knew Randy loved Randy.  You couldn't help but love him, he was such a force!  I remember as a child going to his house and my cousins and my brother and I would want to walk to the store so they would send me to ask him for money because we all knew he wouldn't say no.  As we would walk down the street we would laugh because we could hear my mom and my aunt Elaine laughing so loudly and mostly at whatever was coming out of my uncle Randy's mouth.  Their laughter would carry all the way down the street.  There was one time when I wanted a Popple and for whatever reason, I am sure it was a good one, I wasn't getting it from my parents.  When I got to my uncle's house I told him that I wanted one, but my mom and dad didn't buy me one so he took me to the store and bought it for me.  I remember getting in trouble for standing on a chair and reaching across the table for food so my uncle picked me up and sat me down in the middle of the table and told me I could have whatever I wanted.  I remember spending weeks during the summertime with them and having the best time of my life.  I remember my parents and my aunt and uncle going out while we stayed at the house with my cousins and they let us watch Goonies, lol, we all got in trouble for that one.  I remember going out to Kettleman City to ride dirt bikes and falling off, my uncle walked over to me, told me to stop crying and get back on the bike.  Tough love!  He was good at that too.  I remembr as a teenager I was at my boyfriend's house and I got a call telling me to come home and bring my boyfriend with me.  When we pulled up my uncle was standing outside waiting for us.  HOLY CRAP I thought.  I walked up and gave him a hug and he told me to go in the house.  I of course did as I was told, but I was worried.  He had a little heart to heart with my boyfriend about what his intentions where and how he was going to treat me and what would happen if he didn't listen.  LOL, he broke up with me a few days later, guess it wasn't meant to be.  I will always hold onto all of my great memories with my uncle and his entire family.  Thankfully I can continue to make memories with them and share in our memories of him.  He was one of  a kind! 

Now I think the hardest part of dealing with all the pain is the pain that keeps coming.  I had intended on going to visit him on Friday, but I was not able to get away and do that.  Therefore I did not get to see him before he passed.  No final goodbye, I didn't get to kiss him one last time or hold his hand.  And to top it all off I don't even get to go to his funeral and be a part of that.  I have never felt pain like this before...