This may or may not flow and make sense. I am not sure how it will work out. I haven't even begun to deal with the loss so my feelings are all over the place. I am just going to write and I may re-write at a later time. My Uncle Randy went to be with Jesus on Tuesday. Even as I am typing it my heart still refuses to believe it. I just know that if I called him he would answer the phone. He went in for what they thought was going to be a routine surgery, at least that's what I was told, and during surgery he had a heart attack. He was on life support and in the ICU. He seemed to improve over the first 24 hours, but that didn't last long. He had a long list of health problems and I guess in some eyes this was inevitable, but in mine he was indestructible. Between Saturday and Sunday my Aunt Elaine noticed a change in her husband, how amazing to know someone so well that even when they couldn't communicate to you that something had changed you could see it! The doctors ran tests and discovered he had a stroke. That was the straw that broke the camels back I guess. Tuesday they took his tube out and within minutes he left this world and went to a better, brighter place. My aunt said that he was peaceful and comfortable when he passed. I guess if you have to go you can't ask for much more than that. That's how he died, but I have so many memories of how he lived! I don't even know if I can describe how special he is to me. Next to my dad their isn't another man that holds that kind of place in my heart. He was honery and funny and loud and one of the sweetest men God ever created. He was full of life and spunk and he was who he was!! Everybody who knew Randy loved Randy. You couldn't help but love him, he was such a force! I remember as a child going to his house and my cousins and my brother and I would want to walk to the store so they would send me to ask him for money because we all knew he wouldn't say no. As we would walk down the street we would laugh because we could hear my mom and my aunt Elaine laughing so loudly and mostly at whatever was coming out of my uncle Randy's mouth. Their laughter would carry all the way down the street. There was one time when I wanted a Popple and for whatever reason, I am sure it was a good one, I wasn't getting it from my parents. When I got to my uncle's house I told him that I wanted one, but my mom and dad didn't buy me one so he took me to the store and bought it for me. I remember getting in trouble for standing on a chair and reaching across the table for food so my uncle picked me up and sat me down in the middle of the table and told me I could have whatever I wanted. I remember spending weeks during the summertime with them and having the best time of my life. I remember my parents and my aunt and uncle going out while we stayed at the house with my cousins and they let us watch Goonies, lol, we all got in trouble for that one. I remember going out to Kettleman City to ride dirt bikes and falling off, my uncle walked over to me, told me to stop crying and get back on the bike. Tough love! He was good at that too. I remembr as a teenager I was at my boyfriend's house and I got a call telling me to come home and bring my boyfriend with me. When we pulled up my uncle was standing outside waiting for us. HOLY CRAP I thought. I walked up and gave him a hug and he told me to go in the house. I of course did as I was told, but I was worried. He had a little heart to heart with my boyfriend about what his intentions where and how he was going to treat me and what would happen if he didn't listen. LOL, he broke up with me a few days later, guess it wasn't meant to be. I will always hold onto all of my great memories with my uncle and his entire family. Thankfully I can continue to make memories with them and share in our memories of him. He was one of a kind!
Now I think the hardest part of dealing with all the pain is the pain that keeps coming. I had intended on going to visit him on Friday, but I was not able to get away and do that. Therefore I did not get to see him before he passed. No final goodbye, I didn't get to kiss him one last time or hold his hand. And to top it all off I don't even get to go to his funeral and be a part of that. I have never felt pain like this before...
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